Naturally, you want to move forward but
you’ve convinced yourself that no matter how much you
try or how hard you work, all you’re going to get are
the same old results. So why even waste the time. The
past is only going to repeat itself.
So, you decide that marketing isn’t worth
the time and expense. You feel that word-of-mouth advertising
is the best way to expand your client base.
That way, of course, you don’t have to take
any risks.
Pain
“I
will turn their mourning into joy;
I will comfort them, and give them
Gladness for sorrow.”
Jeremiah 31: 13
Reflecting back on my childhood again, I
still remember how excited I was about leaving Mason Elementary
and moving on to racially mixed Mettatal
Junior High School.
When I got there I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
I said to myself, “This is great. Everybody seems to
like each other. This is how it’s supposed to be.” In
fact, when graduation came, it was a sad moment because
I knew I’d miss a lot of the friends I had made.
Then I got to Henry
Ford High
School. There were only a
handful of us African Americans (35 out of about 4,000
students). But I figured, “I’m a cool guy. Once the
white students get to know me, they’ll like me. They’ll
see I’m okay. I’ll make more friends.”
I couldn’t have been more wrong. There
were racial taunts. Racial incidents. And fights after
school.
To make matters worse, many of the white
teachers didn’t seem very happy about us being there as
well. In the classrooms many teachers never showed much
interest in our progress. It was like we didn’t exist.
They seemed to have lower expectations for us. I can’t
say for sure, but I guess they felt we couldn’t read,
write and compute like everybody else.
See, you have to realize something: This
was the 60s – 1967 to be exact.
Heck, the Civil Rights Act, putting an end
to segregation in public schools and public facilities,
was just passed three years earlier. And a formal busing
plan to ship black students to white public schools across
town in Detroit
to fully integrate them had not been put together yet.
Not to mention that the Motor City just happened to be
one of the center points of the very fiery and volatile
civil rights movement going on in our nation at that time.
I don’t think my fellow black classmates
and I really grasped the reality of the profound social
and political changes that were taking place around us.
All I really cared about was fitting in and making it
in the world. My attitude more or less was, “I can go
into any restaurant, live in any neighborhood, and do
as I please. I don’t have to sit in the back of the bus
if I don’t want to!”
More significantly, it was only months after
the Detroit
race riots in which forty-three people were killed. The
riots, which started a couple of miles from where I lived,
rocked the nation and seemed to set race relations back
dozens of years. During that time, people lived in fear.
I remember coming home from a family picnic
the days after the riots started. There was mass chaos
– wailing police sirens, cops, guns, with shots going
off everywhere – people running and looting, and debris
and broken glass all over the streets. Many stores had
been set on fire. It seemed as thought the entire city
was ablaze.
There was even an army tank parked in the
alley behind our house, with national guardsmen posted
across the street to combat snipers and looters who had
tormented our neighborhood.
One night I heard the gunshots, tat, tat,
tat, tat. My parents and I listened as bullets whizzed
and whined throughout the neighborhood. All we could
do was crotch behind furniture in terror.
That night, I experienced a different kind
of fear. The specter of a shootout or people getting
“jacked up” by the police hung heavy.
The next day, I woke up feeling really nervous.
So I decided to take a stroll around the block. I found
hundreds of bullet holes on the outside of a house just
around the corner. Then I found bullet holes in a house
across the street. Some of the neighbors thought the
bullets had strayed from the snipers’ guns. “The cops,”
one neighbor said. “They took ‘em out.”
Later that afternoon, as military trucks
rattled through smoldering rubble and police patrolled
gutted mini-malls, people tried to make sense out of the
fallen ashes. Throughout the city, many brandished brooms
and dustpans to help reclaim and restore ravaged, riot-torn
neighborhoods as weary residents sifted through burned
out buildings and houses.
But it was too late. As the weeks wore
on, the city began to crumble. Crime and violence was
epidemic, drug trafficking ran rampant, and guns became
the currency of the streets. While the riots had opened
the floodgate of anger and strength and resolve against
racism, it also set the stage for what the media called
“white flight” which followed.
You see, the public outcry that followed
the uprising was an explosion of anger and panic. Confusion
and bloodshed that had spilled into the city’s streets
caused most of Detroit’s
white citizenry to pack up their belongings and leave
the city in droves. Tens of thousands moved to largely
mono-ethnic suburbs where they felt safe. Those who continued
to work downturn could go into their windowed offices,
work all day, and then drive home to the suburbs where
they didn’t have to see the decay around them.
As their numbers swelled, services declined,
conditions deteriorated. The downtown’s vibrant and bustling
streets stilled, and its thriving retail community of
department stores, clothing shops, boutiques and restaurants
emptied.
All that remained after the riots in this
once proud metropolis was a quiet, disheartening hopelessness,
running through what had become an island of despair.
Growing racial tensions continued to grip
the fading Motor
City as its
population became increasingly African American. In fact,
during the 70s, lawlessness continued and white Detroiters
continued to scurry for the suburbs. After years of disorder
and decline, it eventually became white Detroit
and black Detroit
through all levels of society.
However, whites were not alone in their
exodus. The uprising even spurred a black middle-class
sprint to the suburbs, as violence, drugs and chronic
unemployment cast a pall over inner-city life.
Empty storefronts, vacant houses and ghost
buildings, windswept cargo for bulldozers. Hundreds of
businesses surrounded by fortresses of chain-link fence
and shiny spirals of sharpened wire.
Sadly, the riots may have sealed the resulting
feelings of hopelessness; as to this day it still seems
deeply entrenched in many of Detroit’s
black communities while racial divisions remain.
However, despite the turmoil, it was still
a tremendous time of educational opportunity for African
Americans. But then one day at school, during my senior
year, the dagger of racial prejudice viciously stabbed
me once again.
Shattered Pictures
“Then
the Lord answered me and said: … There is still a vision
for the appointed time … If it seems to tarry, wait for
it;
it will surely come, it will not delay.”
Habakkuk 2: 2-3
My buddies and I were hanging out in the
hallway one afternoon my high school when the strangest
thing happened. My senior guidance counselor – a six-foot
two, 180-pound white woman – was hastily walking towards
me with the wildest look in her eyes. I didn’t know if
she was mad at me for not being in class, or just wanted
to hassle me. But I definitely knew something bad was
about to happen.
“Gerald, come to my office right now,” she
commanded. When I heard those words, panic took over.
I’d never been in trouble at school before. Walking to
her office, I began to tremble when I thought about what
my parents might say or do. My father, in particular,
would just as soon whip my butt if I did anything wrong
at school. Fear was running so deep that my stomach turned
into knots. I felt as if I was going to vomit.
When we reached her office, I walked nervously
to a chair and sat down. We glanced at each other, turned
away and I looked down towards the floor. My skin tightened.
I found it hard to swallow. Then there’d be this awkward
silence. Finally, she spoke, in a cold, terse voice that
sent shivers through me. “You’re in big trouble, you
know that?”
I looked up and nodded, “No.”
I thought about what I’d just heard. “My
worst fear is coming true,” I said to myself. “I’m being
kicked out of school. But why am I. I haven’t done anything
wrong except be late to class every now and then.”
I tried to put on a brave face as I felt
myself choking inside. My counselor, obviously put off
by my mere presence, looked angry and irritated. Then
she exploded:
“You’re
pathetic! I don’t see how you will ever amount to anything.
College is definitely out of the question for you. As
far as I’m concerned, you don’t have what it takes. Your
best bet is to think about getting a job at McDonald’s
or better yet an auto plant working on an assembly line.
Maybe these are things you can do. Work hard and one
day you could become a line foreman or supervisor.”
Shock electrified the room for a moment.
I felt like I had been punched below the belt, where she
knew it would hurt. And it did. It hurt like hell.
Mean, vicious words just kept spewing from
her mouth. “You’re such a worthless, stupid boy. You
people are hopeless.” As I continued to listen, tears
started streaming down my face. The pain inside was getting
unbearable.
The best I could do was sit there. Stunned.
What really made it bad was this smirk she had on her
face. It seemed as if she took pleasure in going off
on me. With each blow delivered, she was letting me know
how much she despised me. How much she hated me.
The more she went off, the more it hurt.
It got so bad I had to whisper to myself, “Gerald, get
a grip. Hang in there. Be strong.”
Then I started going into my head. I started
wondering if I ever would be considered someone special,
or talented, or gifted. Or would I just be looked up
as some low-life. Leftover trash. Not even considered
a human being.
I remained still and kept my eyes fixed
on her, hoping the sight of my tears would make her shut
up. After a few minutes passed by, which seemed like
days, she said disgustingly, “You may leave now.”
And so I did. I left hating her, hating
school, and hating people like her.
Let Go, Let God
“Jesus
turned, and seeing her he said, ‘Take heart,
daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And
instantly the woman was made well.”
Matthew 9: 22
It’s been over thirty years since that incident.
To this day, I remember leaving that meeting again thinking
something was wrong with me – that I wasn’t good enough!
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have
to accept someone else’s point of view about you. You
don’t have to feel that you have nothing good to offer.
Start trusting in yourself that you have everything it
takes to make a difference in this world and be a winner
at marketing your services.
Where would I be today if the only thing
I believed I could do with my life was work on a GM or
Ford assembly line? Or flip burgers and work the deep
fryer at a McDonald’s? Better yet, have a job at some
supermarket, restaurant or auto shop? “Paper or plastic,”
“Would you like fries with that,” “Should I check your
oil,” – I don’t think so!
I’m not suggesting there is anything wrong
with this kind of work. It’s good, honest and decent.
But if you trust that God is constantly showing you the
way and that His reassuring love embraces you and lift
any burdens from your heart, feelings of inadequacy or
doubt about your abilities are swept away.
For God is pure love, and that everlasting
love soothes any insecurity that may seem to still reside
within you.
Look, I shared these painful racial episodes
from my life with you not to, if you are white, strike
a bruise, cut a vein, or touch a raw, exposed nerve and
get you upset or make you feel twinges of guilt. There’s
more than enough guilt to go around in terms of why blacks
and whites don’t seem to understand each other.
Rather, I shared these episodes to raise
questions about the fragility of childhood – the formative
years – and the preconceived notions that shape the kind
of adults we become.
See, for all the contradictions and pain
we have regarding race in America,
I can’t help but notice how so many service providers
of all races, creeds and colors have become trapped in
what I call the known, the familiar. The thinking
tends to be, “That’s the way it’s always been and that’s
the way it is.” Consequently, their businesses or careers
never take off the way they should or could.
Complacency. Resignation. Victimization.
Most people want self-sufficiency, self-reliance, and
self-empowerment. They’re magic door openers that widen
the lens of your life and allow you to step into new possibilities.
Yet, that is only possible through freedom,
the lifeblood of free enterprise. And freedom can only
occur when we no longer continue to bleed. Our wounds
of the past become inconsequential to the possibilities
that await us.
To build a better life out of the ashes
of a painful past, you must be willing to hold up a mirror
and see yourself, your life, other people and your circumstances
from a completely different point of view. With such
a shift, a breakthrough in your sales and profits become
possible.
See, a breakthrough is not something one
knows how to accomplish. It’s something you’re committed
to; something that happens yet it’s not predictable.
It’s generated from a way of being a Christian,
a vital force, an energy that gives you the freedom and
power to live your life outside the constraints of what
your history and circumstances allow.
For getting ahead ultimately is about risk,
about courage – the courage to free yourself from the
shackles of your past, for freedom in the present. It’s
having the strength to cut the chains of the impossible,
knowing anything is possible through God. It’s standing
in His light for a brighter future - a future rich with
blessings, opportunity, and prosperity.
You see, I am fully aware of the fact that
the uncomfortable, prickly subject of race relations in
America
was a thorny issue for me to touch upon in this article.
It’s a touchy subject that always seems to annoy somebody.
A lot of folks (white or black) get turned
off, or snarl when they have to hear about or read about
the great American bugbear of prejudice and racism. The
general mood seems to be, “Get over it! We’re tired of
the lectures, social messages, and all the grievances
and complaints. Enough already!”
I also fully recognize that my “story” may
pale in comparison to what you or someone you know has
been through. What I shared is minor compared to people
who have overcome a lot of hurdles in order to reform
their lives or beat the odds. I’m one who believes that
success should be measured not so much by one’s position
in life as by the obstacles which a person has overcome
trying to succeed.
To me, these are the true role models in
society that we should be looking up to. I’m talking
about people of any color who have experienced their fair
share of great personal turmoil and truly triumphed over
tragedies such as: spousal and sexual abuse, serious
injuries and health problems, broken homes, poverty, drugs
and alcohol, brazen racism and discrimination, dangerous
neighborhoods, a lack of education, being homeless, death
of a loved one, incarceration, and so on.
The fact of the matter is that, for the
most part, my life has been pretty great.
My point is that regardless of what any
of us have gone through or overcome, God is preparing
our way. As He flows through our lives and circumstances,
order is restored where there seemed to be chaos. Hope
is revealed where there seemed to be none. Triumph is
achieved where there seemed to be defeat. For there is
a divine order at work that enables your life to unfold
in ways that are beyond what any of us can imagine.
In a nutshell, I guess you could say this
article is really about spiritual accountability. And
why it’s vital for all spiritual people (not just religious
people) to spark a cleansing fire of self-examination
and reflection. The whole idea of being grounded spiritually
is built on examining our beliefs and owning up to any
limitations we may have about life, other people, the
world and ourselves whether we deem them good or bad,
right or wrong. True growth and healing comes from facing
the truth, regardless of how harsh the realities are.
You can look at it from any angle you wish,
but spiritual accountability revolves around a deep understanding
of self. As you let go and let God, you are directed
to follow paths of understanding and discovery. The insights
and revelations you pick up along the way leads to acquiring
the perspective that is most appropriate for you to attract
the people who will seek your counsel, retain your services,
buy your products, promote you at work, or give you a
job.
Brighter Days
“Teach
me to do your will, for you are my God.
Let your good spirit lead me on a level path.”
- Psalm 143: 10
My brother, my sister, begin the process
of moving toward new horizons by acknowledging and eliminating
any self-defeating beliefs you may have as it pertains
to marketing your services. These are those “I’m not
this enough ... and I’m not that enough”
thoughts that can rob you of your marketing power.
Raise your head to the sky and see a new
beginning. Start by looking deep within yourself. Don’t
just look, but really see. Maybe you think you’re not
smart enough. Or you’re not healthy enough, or experienced
enough, or educated enough. Or maybe you feel that you
don’t have enough time or money. Or maybe you think you’re
not good enough, like I once did. Or maybe you believe
marketing success seems to go to the other guy but not
to you, or that you are a victim of circumstance.
Whatever your limiting belief may be, get
rid of it. It’s certainly not worth fighting for. It
puts a wall between where you are and where you want to
be.
I know self-assessments like this can get
pretty uncomfortable. But sometimes you have to move
through the pain if you want to get to the other side.
Just be honest with yourself. You are not doing yourself
any favors by making yourself look better than you really
are … by claiming that you do not have any issues.
I suggest asking someone close to you –
a client, an associate, or your spouse – to tell you honestly
how he or she sees you. Don’t worry. It’s all about
perception. People will see you differently than how
you see yourself.
See, Jesus did not worry about how He looked
to others. If you do the right thing, it is all right
to be misunderstood. Too many dreams get wasted because
people are overly concerned about looking good to others.
Greater self-knowledge, which leads to a greater sense
of self, empowers people to act in new ways.
It’s
not that you walk your talk,
It’s how you walk because of how you talk
… to yourself and others
Next, forgive the people who may have hurt
you or done you wrong. When I forgave little Elaine,
my high school counselor, and others that reminded me
of her it allowed me to forgive myself for hating them.
Next thing I knew, a bud opened. My disappointments changed
into joy. Complaints changed into laughter. Now, I am
constantly aware of God’s presence. Consequently, I am
more relaxed and confident in any situation, regardless
of how strong the storm may rage.
The process of making amends and resolving
stress-filled situations begins with forgiveness. God
wants us to be sharp and ready. He wants us to feel at
peace at all moments. To be still, be calm. Never ruffled.
So I’ve learned to be bigger than myself
– who I once considered myself to be. If I need to repair
a stained relationship with someone, I first forgive myself
for whatever I have done – known or unknown – to contribute
to any misunderstanding. As I forgive another person,
I know I am growing and maturing as I practice being a
loving and forgiving person, and being loved. The greatest
joy in the world comes from loving and being loved. Knowing
that God loves me even when I don’t deserve it brings
me great comfort at all times.
After forgiving, comes forgetting. The
apostle Paul said we have to forget (Philippians 3:
13). In order to move onward and upward, you
must not only forgive people from your past, you
must forget some things in your past. It’s good
to look backward as long as you don’t live backwards.
But, as we all know, it’s a lot easier to
forgive than to forget. Human nature will not always
allow you to forget. If you cut me I’m going to have
a scar. But forgetting means I don’t hold it against
you. This sense of inner peace and love carries over
to when I’m marketing myself because it allows me whenever
I meet with potential or existing clients, to always have
a smile on my face. Your smile is a message to others
that you are a loving, caring person.
As you expand into the market looking for
new business, you will meet with people for the first
time. There’s a language of the heart that transcends
the spoken word, and that language begins with a smile.
The glory, light and love of God shine through your smile
and put others at ease. Stars pale in comparison.
My friend, always remember, when marketing
your services, it isn't so important to the Lord what
you are DOING to attract clients, but who you are BEING
and what you are BECOMING. His focus is on the internal
fabric more so than on your external works. When your
actions truly reflect the motives and desires of a pure
and contrite heart, then your works are the expression
of your faith.
It all starts with your beliefs. They breed
behavior. Combined with forgiving and forgetting, faithfully
done and persistent in, they are the mosaics being laid
in the pavement of achievement.
“The
meditation of my heart shall be understanding.”
– Psalm 49: 3
Gerry Foster believes that if you take seriously
and learn how to market your services by faith, together
with Mastery Marketing® secrets, that you will receive
tremendous blessings, because truly you are a blessing.
If Gerry can be of assistance to you in any way please
contact him directly by phone at 949.499.1174 or by email
at gerry@masterymarketing.com
